Actually, I'm being serious.
I started the relationship because I thought we would both get something out of this, but alas no, you: email marketing manager, just bundled me into a huge list, and this is your nemesis.
Don't worry, email marketing manager, there's plenty more like you out there and with cool services such as Unroll.me I can also bundle you up with your cohorts, and one-click-unsubscribe from all of you.
Hey, I don't want to sound ungrateful, keep those unsubscribe gift links coming!
Happy marketing Christmas.